I am Diana, Amazon warrior. No, no, no, all the other Amazons turned out to be sailor-boffing succubi. Take two.

I am Diana of the Left Fist of Might, a hand so powerful I choose to use it to smash through newsprint even when I have a giant letter opener in my right hand. Yeah, no. I’ve never seen this weapon before, but I’m thinking maybe it’s not a letter opener.

I am Diana, owner of the Lasso of Truth and (I cannot tell a lie because that would make the whole Lasso thing kind of ironic and that’s not my bag) a big sword made of old license plates I just scored on Etsy. Nope. Way too long, Azzarello never lets me talk that much. Reading this over, I get why.

I am Diana!

Eat my motherfucking red boot, motherfuckers!