Gertrude Stein, Superhero (from The Batmom June 2012)

Batman has a Gotham Cave. The Thumb has a Paris Salon.

The Thumb & her sidekick AB

The Thumb & her sidekick AB

Gertrude Stein would make an awesome superhero. She would be called The Thumb, because she was built like one, stout and powerful. She would crush other thumbs in wrestling matches. Her girlfriend, Alice B. Toklas, provides a perfect 1930s answer to Pepper Potts, and would be called AB when in crime-fighting mode. (Let’s just be honest: Alice B. & Gertie have a far more 21st century relationship than do Pepper and her man of iron.)

The comic would be drawn in Cubist style and would take place during WWI, when real-life Gertie and AB zipped around the French countryside in their Steinmobile helping wounded soldiers.

Their real history would be spiced up to include more fantastic exploits, though their real adventures are enough to impress.

Gertrude’s brooch would transmit secret missives from Alice. When it came time to fight crime they would don outfits modeled after 1930s swimsuits: Gertrude in dark gray wool with a Picasso-designed insignia and subtle Alice in olive green. Instead of a letter, AB’s insignia would be a simple yellow flower created for her by Matisse.

I’d read it.