My 7-year-old taught me to play chess today. Here is a picture of our game, mid-game. I have no idea what's happening.

I learned:

1) TIE fighters can only attack diagonally and Darth Vader is the MVP.

2) My son will lie to his own mother to win a game.

3) Not only will my son lie to his own mother to win a game, but his lies will be cloaked as advice.

4) Learning chess with non-traditional pieces is not a good way to learn chess.

5) Learning chess from a lying 7-year-old is not a good way to learn chess.

6) If the Emperor dies, the game dies and I lose.

7) The faster the Emperor dies, the faster we can go do something more fun than chess. Like floss. Or refill the cats' water bowls.