COVERGIRL: Gone is Diana of the powerful yawp; this superhero is shocked, either at the dead blue people floating beneath her or the red soup tarnishing her shiny boots.
And who is this lavender Robert Palmer woman? Is Simply Irresistible right there with WW or is she superimposed? If she’s a backup dancer, as her pose suggests, why the dagger? Not a clue what’s going on. No connection I can see to the last issue, except perhaps the blue arm belongs to Hermes?
INSIDE STORY: Simply Irresistable’s actual name is Strife, and she’s the daughter of Greek goddess Hera. Mom is PISSED because Dad, aka Zeus, can’t keep it in his mythical breeches. His latest spawn sits gestating inside last issue’s plucky, pants-less Virginian, Zola.
Wonder Woman transports Zola and wounded Hermes to Paradise Island, her home. Her people, mighty women in earth-tone beach volleyball uniforms, chafe at the male presence. Even Diana’s mother, Queen Hippolyta, registers a righteous WTF? Wonder Woman explains that she is siding neither with adulterous Zeus nor scorned Hera, but seeks to help clueless Zola.
Also seeking to help, or at least educate, clueless Zola, Hermes shares Diana’s creation myth: Barren Hippolyta fashioned a child out of clay, then fell asleep. The next morning she awoke to baby Di.
Strife arrives on the island; her mere presence sets the warriors to fighting one another. Despite her unsubtle name, the giantess swears she’s there for a family visit with her sister … Diana. So much for the Claymation Creation.
RAMBLE: Mythy with a satisfying dose of pithy.
Several hot spots of humor, including a nod to Hera for referring to man-less Paradise Island as a “cockless coop.” But the award for Best Mid-Drama Comedy goes to the Hermes-Zola duo, discussing Zola’s impregnation by the King of Gods.
Hermes: When Zeus consorts with a woman other than his wife, he chooses a form that will inspire an uncontrollable lust in them. Do you remember what Zeus came to you as?
Zola: A truck driver. Or a pool hustler. He coulda been in a band. I hope he was that guy.
Brilliant, imagining the big guy locking his thunderbolt in the cab of his rig and planting his epic seed in Zola at a highway-side Motel 6.
Also, Diana still rocks. Verbally economical; well-endowed with might. In terms of pure heroic awesomeness, she currently holds my vote.