Wonder Woman #1 (from The Batmom February 2012)

COVERGIRL: I have to swear now because I fucking love this cover. Wonder Woman is so fierce, yelling and raising her fist into a volley of arrows, I want to sound my Amazonian yawp along with her. Maybe I’ll try raising my fist into a volley of cart-wielding seniors at Market Basket tomorrow.

INSIDE STORY: First we meet a buffed up, slicked down, purpley-black dude with glowing golden eyes. He’s a man of myth, for sure, and maybe the NFL, too; a handsome well-built devil hanging out Singapore-high-rise-poolside with three party girls.

Zip Skip Page Flip to a farm somewhere in the Old Dominion.

In the barn two … gods? Devils? They slaughter two horses and take possession of their bodies.

In the farmhouse human Zola confronts a skinny, feather-footed blue guy. Zola’s plaid shirt and way with a rifle presumably signify southern pluck. Her lack of pants signifies her lack of attention to detail, or perhaps simply the artist’s desire to show us her shapely gams.

Zola flaunts both pluck and rifle at the blue guy, who tosses her a key as the newly minted Pegasi (awesome word) crash through the farmhouse door.

Zip Zap Page Flap and Zola’s in London at Wonder Woman’s bedside.

WW, aka Diana, gets dressed, though thoughtlessly fails to offer Zola a pair of pants. The two pop back to Virginny where the Pegasi immediately attack. WW triumphs but feather-foot, aka Hermes, is dying and needs to spill some mighty big beans: Zola is pregnant by Zeus. News to Zola.

Her grandmother appears, telling Zola that if she only wore pants like a good girl, perhaps she wouldn’t find herself in this mess.

Not really.

Just like Addie Bundren, Hermes lays dying in the south a nd the action flashes back to Golden Eyes on the Singapore roof. He’s transformed the party girls into the Weird Sisters and they’ve told him his father has yet to be born. All coming together … .

RAMBLE: First, Naked Notes. Double Dubs is sleeping naked, something my husband pointed out as I explained that flaunty Catwoman was more offensive than awesome Wonder Woman. But why is Wonder Woman naked? he asked.

Good question. Does Batman sleep naked and stand around naked during crucial conversations naked? Naked naked nudey-tudey bat-assed naked?

Maybe he does. I need to read a few guy superheroes too, except I’m already behind a gazillion issues because I keep digressing like this.

I didn’t even notice WW’s naked because I was engaged. The naked glory was secondary to the compelling story and the somewhat mysterious superhero.

Wonder Woman as she appears in the now-discontinued Super Friends spouts preachy aphorisms such as “Be proud of what you are, not jealous of what others are” (Issue #5). She comes off as mighty, yes, but also as a bit of a nudge in red go-go boots.

No preaching in her New 52 iteration. Hallelujah.

In fact, Wonder Woman doesn’t say much at all. Golden Eyes and the Weird Sisters provide the dialogue boxes that overlay the scenes in which the Amazon kicks equine ass. I love that Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang luxuriate (in comic book terms) in their story. Wonder Woman remains a mystery, much more so than if she had brooded verbally all over the page.

We all know she’s the big cheese, but here she shares double billing with the story.